Let’s face if staid Sex Education classes in school taught us nothing, most of us honed our sexual skills through trial and error based on experimentation and exploration. For inexperienced gay men, jumping into the sack can be an experience fraught with anxieties.
Figuring out whether you’re a top or a bottom, whether you’re open to anal sex or not, and most importantly what turns you on, can be a painstaking process, especially when you’re just coming to terms with your sexuality in the first place. But fear not, we’re going to help you get started on the road to self-discovery. Here are some steamy steps for a great sexual experience.
Oh and before you begin make sure you’re staying safe, find a condom that fits, or if you’re going bareback, make sure both of you have been recently tested.
Ease into it with Foreplay
The human body is full of erogenous zones that aren’t located near your penis, start by paying attention to all these areas of your partner’s body. Even the biggest novice has a good idea of how to make out, start slow and match your partner’s pace. Take the opportunity to run your hands over their chest, stomach, thighs and butt paying close attention to what gets the biggest reaction.
Once you’ve gotten better acquainted it’s time to put your mouth to alternate uses, move lower and explore the neck and shoulders. One place you definitely want to give some focused care to is the nipples. These little protrusions come bundled with hundreds of sensitive nerves so lick, tease, pull and bite softly to get your partner squirming and sweating.
An Oral Fixation
Whether you’re a top or a bottom, oral stimulation is one of the cornerstones of gay relationships. In fact many gay men will eschew the sometimes painful pleasures of anal sex, in favour of an oral-only agreement.
If you’re the one giving oral, then make sure not to go past the comfortable limit of your gag reflex, the first few times. You don’t want any messy accidents. Instead focus on giving as much care and attentions as you can to the parts that you can reach. Use your mouth and tongue along the shaft, at the head, and underside of the penis. Once again pay attention to your partner’s reactions, if they’re making noises then you know you’re on the right lines.
The Squeaky Wheel Gets the Grease
In this case it gets lube and plenty of it, especially if you or your partner is bottoming for the first time. We understand that a little more friction can increase sensitivity, but accidents do happen, and it’s better to be safe than sorry. Use a high quality silicone based lubricant and be prepared to empty the whole bottle if need be. Even with that application in place, start slow and work on getting your partner as relaxed as possible.
Find the Right Spot
Whether your face-to-face with your partner in missionary, doing it doggy style or one of you has decided to go turn cowgirl for the night. Finding the right position depends entirely on your preference and level of comfort. For beginners, we generally recommend laying your partner on the floor, applying plenty of lubrication, and guiding yourself slowly onto them, in order to get a good sense of how much you can handle and the pace you’re comfortable with.